I can't believe I forgot about this blog.  Today, I found an email in my spam filter letting me know it was migrating and I needed to authorize my content to be moved.  

I've reread about half the entries.   I think what's going most through my thoughts is I can still remember how crazy I was about Richard (aka Foster).  I remember how happy he made me feel, how special he made me feel, and how awful I felt when it ended.   I will admit that long after it ended, I did email him, hoping that somehow he'd want to reply, even on a neutral level.   He didn't, and it hurt.   It's now coming up on 20 years since our insane start in There, and I do wonder what could have been.   Meanwhile, I struggled to remember the first guy I was discussing (Greg, aka Psi) but Richard's memory is still clear.

I don't think I ever wrote down the details of our break up, and I naturally do not remember details.   I know he and I and his friend moved over to L2 but it wasn't the same.  That game isn't built for emoting and creating tight social bonds like There was, so a relationship already having troubles isn't going to get much help there.   I don't think we had any romance in L2.  I remember him being almost angry so much of the time and he was the one who broke it off.   His friend (who's name I do not remember) just sat there as a neutral 3rd party, although I think he confirmed my suspicions that Richard didn't grow to hate me, but grew to hate how our online thing was emotionally threatening his marriage.  I'm still sad about how it ended, but to quote a line from a movie, "of course it ended badly.  If things didn't end badly, they wouldn't end at all." (Being the nerd that I am, I looked it up.   It's from the movie Cocktail.   "Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end"  )