Does anyone start a blog wondering why they are doing it? What the point is of splashing your thoughts across a blank screen for all the world to see? There is a bit of that going through my mind right now, mixed in with "you're never going to follow thru on this, why are you bothering?"
Well, what else do I have to do today? :P
Ok, some basics...35, single white female, no kids, living just a car accident away from San Fran. Gleefully living solo and slumming thru life like the blue collar worker I (sometimes) wish I was. I dont smoke, I dont drink as often as I wish I did, and I for some reason, never get offered the really fun glamorous drugs that lead to a thrilling yet ultimately tragic and short lived ilfe.
On the surface, i think my life is pretty simple. Im a doctor--yeah an MD. Not one of those poser chiros who think that the ability to bill insurance companies MAKES them a real doc. (pardon my non PC blog--bite me!) Im a neurosurgeon and love freaking folks out by not telling them that until they think they know me well enough to assume Im something else, something more...predictable. I whip it out to cries of "oh, cmon", "Bullshit you are" and the always popular "oh yeah? well Im a fucking rocket scientist!" The originality of reactions is always a killer. Of course, I do get the "wow, that is pretty cool" which sometimes leaves me feeling odd man out. I mean, I do it, its a job, what the hell is so cool about it? I used to love the "concept" that I was a BRAIN surgeon. Now Im just like "whatever, its a job, where is my pay check and how much vacation a year do I get?" Little cynicism there, but thats ME.
Next aspect of my life is the people I know. First and foremost is my mom. Yah dont go all cooing on me or worse, thinking "how sappy is that? shes 35 and her mom is the first person she names?" WEll, I do. She gave birth to me, gave me brain damage in the wound by smoking and drinking during her pregnancy, and continues to this day to have more of an effect on me than I want. We dont live together--any more. I moved out for school, school, and more friggin school. By the time I was done training and ready to start working, she was depressed, drinking and in a self destructive pattern that was going to land her in the grave. Soooo, I grabbed her and moved her with me to Florida, spot of my first REAL job. Three years later, I m back in Calif and shes back living alone again. And already, the self destructive pattern in her is emerging again. BUT, I am not going to dwell on that now...
Other folks are my boss--who is great. Actually hes my "partner"--a doc like me, but with a big ass family who for the most part has embraced me as one of their own and helped me forget I just moved 3Kmiles to live in a new town with no one i know near by. Its about as GOOD as it gets--they fucking rock. Of course, I have to find some way not to fall in love with one of those kids, and quit dreaming about getting married and having his babies, but I digress...again.
Other folks....well the rest of my family isnt really there for me and not really worth a mention here. I have some fucking phenomenal friends I have met thru the net and who I cherish for keeping me sane, amused and all to aware of the fraility of the human condition. AF, DW, JH, you guys make me smile every day I get the chance to bend your ear. Thanks for keeping me grounded. And to the new crew of maniacs J, J and R, you guys kill me and sometimes I mean that in a bad way GRRRrrr. ROFL `blowkiss to all 3 of you loonies.
That makes a nice segway into the next part of my life...ONLINE! About 5 years ago I would have smacked you for saying Id ever considering my online life to be worthy of a mention, but now...uh...Id grin and nod. I have never been much of an online gamer, despite having internet access for about...uh...9 or so years. I did a little chatting on AOL but that gets old, as does the ever expanding amount of spam you incite by doing that. But then came the sims...
I started TSO December of 2003. It was at first, not all that impressive, but it grew on me--like a mad fungus on a zori flip flop in a Miami mens locker. I loved it--played too much, had too much fun, too fast. ROFL Met a great person there, fell in love and wondered how it could get any better?
Well, it couldnt. Reality has a sneaky way of taking dreams and wishes away when it shows its ugly face. But, despite a painful set back, I moved on, and remained on good terms with "those involved." (man I love PC euphamisms) TSO rapidly became a place to hate, and I quit. I found There.com and another chapter of online madness has begun. MOre on that later. Time for a nap.
